From the Archives

This past weekend has been an eventful weekend for me. On Sunday, I drove 3 hours to Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife, my alma matter, to speak to over 1000 students, some of which were graduating from school and wanted me to share some of my experiences with them. I had a great time addressing them. I challenged them to aspire for the top of the topmost top, inspite all odds. I was also challenged by some of the things I saw.

On my way to Ife, I did something that I am trying to do more often. I went through one of my diaries – the one I used in 2005. It was an awesome experience. I couldn’t imagine how deep some of the thoughts I had then were. Without mincing words, I would be a much better person if I use 50% of the principles/ thoughts I have in that diary! I will be least 2-3 times better! Can I share some of these with you?

Success is sold in the open market. Let him go and buy who is willing to pay the price for it!

When you are interested in something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results

A resource is only as strong as his source. A whole lot depends on what/who you are committed to.

Faith is trusting in advance what will make sense only in the reverse

It takes less time to do a thing right, than to explain why you did it wrong.

When a man is wrapped in himself, he becomes a pretty small package.

The death of a seed is the burial of a forest

Greed is not measured by what something costs; it is measured by what it costs you

The quickest way to crush your laurels is to rest on them.

Team work is not about ego. It is about “we go”

The very worst use of your time is to do well what need not be done at all.

Success is more of a consistent common sense than it is of genius

Champions will continue to be champions when they don’t forget the basics

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gets you moving, but to nowhere

I hope you were as blessed as I am going through the list. In the next couple of weeks, I will write more on some of the insights shared here. Till then, keep on keeping on

Be Committed to Your Commitments

Working for a multinational in the last couple of years have taught me a lot about making commitments. The rule about making commitments is so simple that it is unbelievable. “Do what you say you will do”! Which part of this simple sentence is difficult to understand? The truth however is that most times, most of us to not keep our commitments. Interestingly enough, people will remember when you break promises, but they don’t remember when you help them out,

“Do what you say you will do”!

People expect you to fulfill your promises. Going out of your way to keep a commitment isn’t going to be remembered. But people will remember when you screw-up. Even if the screw-up is accidental, that broken commitment is going to linger for a lot longer than a spectacular success.It’s easy to forget this imbalance when you make commitments. Since breaking commitments has a much larger weight than helping out, it’s important to do what you say you’ll do. Usually you can’t repair a screw-up with a single offer to help out.

Let me share with you a few ideas that could help in making you a more reliable person and making sure your relationship accounts don’t go into debt:

Make Promises Infrequently

Don’t be hasty with your commitments. If something is important to someone, make sure that there is an almost 100% certainty you will be able to follow through. It’s better to explain, in advance, reasons that would prevent you from committing, than to back out later. I am not trying to suggest that you should run away from commitments. All I am saying is that you should keep your commitments to the level which you can deliver on!

Write Down Commitments

If you make a commitment to do something, you should be writing it down in front of that person. Not only does this help you remember, it signals your level of commitment to the other person. It is not good practice to make offhanded commitments that isn’t stored anywhere.

Don’t Say “Maybe”, When You Mean “No”

If you won’t be able to do something, say so. It is better to say No, than to say Yes and still not do it. You may feel you’ve left yourself a clever escape route to avoid making a commitment. But what you’ve really done is made a smaller promise. Backing out of a maybe isn’t a complete screw-up, but it still hurts your relationship more than if you were assertive enough to say “no” in the first place.

Don’t Forget Your Ongoing Commitments

Whenever you agree to do anything, the commitment should be placed into your to-do list, calendar or whatever organizing system you have. Even if your commitment didn’t have a specific deadline, keeping track of where you’ve agreed to help is important. Keep other commitments you have in perspective before making any new one. Don’t forget ongoing commitments because you want to make someone happy.

What’s Unimportant to You May be Crucial to Another

It’s easy to evaluate the importance of everything in terms of our own goals. I might get a request from someone that is unimportant to me, but extremely important to that person. It’s easy to push aside items that aren’t priorities for you. But if those items also happen to be priorities for other people, you may break an incredibly important commitment without realizing it. Once you have made a commitment to get it done, keep to your commitment. Forget how important or unimportant it seems t you.

If People Aren’t Reliable, Call Them on It

I wouldn’t recommend getting into a fight. But if someone is building a deficit in your relationship bank account, let them know. Often busy people won’t even realize they are being completely unreliable. If you let them know that you’re disappointed that they haven’t followed through on their promises that give them the option of gracefully scaling back their commitments or being more responsible in the future. However, be sure to do to others what you want done to you.

Responsibility - The Price For Greatness

One of the single most important words in the English language is R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y. Your ability to respond. Why? Most of the problems we experience in life are because we fail to take responsibility. Look at your own life. Be honest with yourself. What problems can you identify that point back to your not taking responsibility either in a timely fashion or not at all? I bet it's 90% or higher. We are a country of people who seem to believe problems are always someone else's responsibility.

So you have a problem. And you have a good excuse for living with it, right? You're unappreciated, misunderstood, your parents raised you wrong, the school didn't teach you the right thing, the system is against you, you're broke, unemployed, you can't do anything right, you made a lot of mistakes … There is nothing you can do about it because you are too young, too old, you are under-educated, overweight, you won't conform, you don't have any money.

" When we want to do something we find a way, but when we don't we find an excuse." Donald Trump

Do you realize these are all excuses? Donald Trump said " When we want to do something we find a way, but when we don't we find an excuse." Most people do not accept personal responsibility for what they want. They tend to blame others, circumstances, and conditions. Blaming makes us feel better, but it does not solve problems. What happens to us when we allow someone or something else to become responsible for us? We give up our personal power. The power to make decisions about our own lives, and to control our destiny. Are you willing to take that kind of chance with your life?

Most people dread accepting responsibility. That's just a fact of life, and we can see it in operation every day. Yes, we can see avoidance of responsibility all the time in both our personal and professional lives. And here's something else we can see just as often: we can see that most people aren't as successful as they wish they were. Do you see there is a connection between these two very common phenomena? Responsibility is a price you have to pay if you aim for greatness.

During the years when professional basketball was just beginning to become really popular, Bill Russell, who played center for the Boston Celtics, was one of the greatest players in the pro league. He was especially known for his rebounding and his defensive skills. But like a lot of very tall centers, Russell was never much of a free throw shooter. His free throw percentage was quite a bit below average in fact. But this low percentage didn't really give a clear picture of Russell's ability as an athlete. And in one game he gave a very convincing demonstration of this.

It was the final game of a championship series between Boston and the Los Angeles Lakers. With about twelve seconds left to play, the Lakers were behind by one point and Boston had the ball. It was obvious that the Lakers would have to foul one of Boston's players in order to get the ball back, and they chose to foul Bill Russell.This was a perfectly logical choice since statistically Russell was the worst free throw shooter on the court at that moment. If he missed the shot, the Lakers would probably get the ball back and they'd still have enough time to try to win the game. But if Russell made his first free throw, the Lakers' chances would be seriously diminished. And if he made both shots, the game would essentially be over.

Bill Russell had a very peculiar style of shooting free throws. Today, no self-respecting basketball player anywhere in America would attempt it. Aside from the question of whether it's an effective way to shoot a basket, it just looked too ridiculous. Whenever he had to shoot a free throw, the six-foot-eleven Russell would start off holding the ball in both hands about waist high, then he'd squat down and as he straightened up he'd let go of the ball. It looked like he was trying to throw a bucket of dirt over a wall.But regardless of how he looked, as soon as Bill Russell was fouled, he knew the Celtics were going to win the game. He was absolutely certain of it because, in a situation like this, statistics and percentages mean nothing. There was a much more important factor at work, something that no one has found a way to express in numbers and decimal points.

Simply put, Bill Russell was a player who wanted to take responsibility for the success or failure of his team. He wanted the weight on his shoulders in a situation like this. No possibility for excuses. No possibility of blaming anyone else if the game was lost. No second guessing. Bill Russell wanted the ball in his own hands and nobody else's. And, like magic, even if he'd missed every free throw he'd ever shot in his life before this, he knew he was going to make this one. And that is exactly what happened.

That is what virtually always happens when a man or woman accepts responsibility eagerly and with confidence. I've always felt that accepting responsibility is one of the highest forms of human maturity. A willingness to be accountable, to put yourself on the line, is really the defining characteristic of adulthood.

"A Person is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions." –

So if you are a person who has never been good at taking responsibility:

- Look around and find the most responsible person you know and ask for help or model their behavior.

- Take on small projects and see them through to completion. Then slowly increase the amount of responsibility you take on. The more we do, the more we can do, and the better we get.

- Accept 100% responsibility for what happens in your life, and know that you have the power to take control of many aspects of your life, mental and physical.

- Stop blaming and start making decisions and be responsible for the outcome good or bad.

You will succeed!

Problems - A Paradox?

Problems are everywhere. Pick up a newspaper! Turn on the TV! Talk to your neighbor! Phone a friend! Get a new job! Take a trip!

The weather is a problem –it is either too hot or too cold. Age is a problem –you are either too young or too old or aging too quickly. Money is a problem –you never have enough (Have you ever seen anyone that has enough?). Relationships are a problem –either you have a relationship that causes problems or you want a relationship. Jobs are a problem- so is not having a job.

The whole world is full of problems! Everyone everywhere is talking about problems.Problems are universal. They are part of everything all the time. Every progressive step the human race has achieved originated in a problem. And every new step has created new problems!

Problems occur in every civilization throughout history and they will continue to do so into the future. Problems embrace every race, every religion, every age, and both sexes regardless of fame, fortune or power. Every person who has walked the face of the earth has had problems.

“Everyone has problems, everyone suffers to varying degrees at different degrees- the only way out is objectivity “

Problems are path dependent. In other words the same problems show up on the same path regardless of who, where or when they are encountered. Individuals all over the world encounter problems with everyday needs such as transportation, food, housing and not so basic problems such as self fulfillment. Parents all across the world encounter similar problems with children.

Problems are conflict laden. Fundamental problems arising out of different values and beliefs create conflict over rights, privileges and entitlements between nation states. Simple actions over what to do next and how to do it can create conflict within the workplace and in family

Problems are by nature paradoxical. They are big and small. Universal problems of war and peace, life and death, poverty and prosperity walk along side personal problems about age, weight or education. Problems seem to have a life of their own. We can grow any problem to any size and shape we want. We carry the same problems with us –we use them to influence our present and our future!

We see the same problems ones over and over again in different shapes and forms.Problems are addictive! We talk about past problems, current problems, and future problems. We talk about our problems and even our neighbor’s problems. We tell others what their problems are. We love solving other people’s problems even if we are not asked. We are problem obsessed!

Problems are the bane of our existence. Yet we all get through them –one way or the other. We know that without problems we do not grow and prosper. Problems offer us mental, physical and social challenges that shape our character and our destiny. Problems are at the heart of all progress –material, cultural, spiritual and physical.

So what is the problem?The problem is what to do with problems. That’s a choice and that choice is both a curse and a blessing. The curse is that there are problems; the blessing is problems have solutions. The journey is finding the solutions that manifest the consequences you need.

What should we do with problems then? I will share that in my next post....and it won't be long (lol)

Impossibilities Often Aren't

While at work during the week, a colleague sent me an interesting piece. It’s too hot to keep to myself. Please permit me to share with you. I am sure you will thank me after reading this piece (lol).

Japanese grocery stores had a problem. They are much smaller than their US counterparts and therefore don't have room to waste. Watermelons, big and round, wasted a lot of space. Most people would simply tell the grocery stores that watermelons grow round and there is nothing that can be done about it. But some Japanese farmers took a different approach. "If the supermarkets want a space efficient watermelon,” they asked themselves, "How can we provide one?" It wasn't long before they invented the square watermelon. Yes, they did!

The solution to the problem of round watermelons wasn't nearly as difficult to solve for those who didn't assume the problem was impossible to begin with and simply asked how it could be done. It turns out that all you need to do is place them into a square box when they are growing and the watermelon will take on the shape of the box! That simple? Yes, it was that simple!

This made the grocery stores happy and had the added benefit that it was much easier and cost effective to ship the watermelons. Consumers also loved them because they took less space in their refrigerators which are much smaller than those in the US - which resulted in the growers being able to charge a premium price for them.

What does this have to do with anything besides square watermelons? There are a few lessons that you can take away from this story which will help you in all parts of your life. Here are a few of them:

Don't assume:

The major problem was that most people had always seen round watermelons so they automatically assumed that square watermelons were impossible before even thinking about the question. Things that you have been doing a certain way your entire life have taken on the aura of the round watermelon and you likely don't even take the time to consider if there is another way to do it. Breaking yourself from assuming this way can greatly improve your overall life as you are constantly looking for new and better ways to do things.

Question habits:

The best way to tackle these assumptions is to question your habits. If you can make an effort to question the way you do things on a consistent basis, you will find that you can continually improve the way that you live your life. Forming habits when they have been well thought out is usually a positive thing, but most of us have adopted our habits from various people and places without even thinking about them.

Be creative:

When faced with a problem, be creative in looking for a solution. This often requires thinking outside the box. Most people who viewed this question likely thought they were being asked how they could genetically alter water melons to grow square which would be a much more difficult process to accomplish. By looking at the question from an alternative perspective, however, the solution was quite simple. Being creative and looking at things in different ways in all portions of your live will help you find solutions to many problems where others can't see them.

Look for a better way:

The square watermelon question was simply seeking a better and more convenient way to do something. The stores had flagged a problem they were having and asked if a solution was possible. It's impossible to find a better way if you are never asking the question in the first place. Always ask if there is a better way of doing the things that you do and constantly write down the things you wish you could do (but currently can't) since these are usually hints about steps you need to change. Get into the habit of asking yourself, "Is there a better way I could be doing this?" and you will find there often is.

Impossibilities often aren't:

If you begin with the notion that something is impossible, then it obviously will be for you. If, on the other hand, you decide to see if something is possible or not, you will find out through trial and error. I like the way a wise man puts it. He said “ Impossibility only exists in the dictionary of fools”.

Apply the lessons from the square watermelons to areas in your life (work, finances, relationships, etc) and by consistently applying them, you may continuously improve all aspects of your life.

Wanted - Honest Men (Part II)

In his book Integrity, Ted Engstrom told his story: "For Coach Cleveland Stroud and the Bulldogs of Rockdale County High School (Conyers, Georgia), it was their championship season: 21 wins and 5 losses on the way to the Georgia boys' basketball tournament last March, then a dramatic come-from-behind victory in the state finals. "But now the new glass trophy case outside the high school gymnasium is bare. Earlier this month the Georgia High School Association deprived Rockdale County of the championship after school officials said that a player who was scholastically ineligible had played 45 seconds in the first of the school's five postseason games. 'We didn't know he was ineligible at the time; we didn't know it until a few weeks ago,' Mr. Stroud said. 'Some people have said we should have just kept quiet about it, that it was just 45 seconds and the player wasn't an impact player. But you've got to do what's honest and right and what the rules say. I told my team that people forget the scores of basketball games; they don't ever forget what you're made of.'" What a story? I am sure this sounds foolish to many. How does it sound to you? Can I share another one with you that may even sound more foolish?

As professional golfer Ray Floyd was getting ready to tap in a routine 9-inch putt, he saw the ball move ever so slightly. According to the rule book, if the ball moves in this way the golfer must take a penalty stroke. Yet consider the situation. Floyd was among the leaders in a tournament offering a top prize of $108,000. To acknowledge that the ball had moved could mean he would lose his chance for big money. Writer David Holahan describes as follows what others might have done: “The athlete ducks his head and flails wildly with his hands, as if being attacked by a killer bee; next, he steps back from the ball, rubbing his eye for a phantom speck of dust, all the while scanning his playing partners and the gallery for any sign that the ball’s movement has been detected by others. If the coast is clear, he taps the ball in for his par. Ray Floyd, however, didn’t do that. He assessed himself a penalty stroke and wound up with a bogey on the hole. He lost $108,000 but not his Integrity!

He lost $108,000 but not his Integrity!

A storeowner interviewed a young man for a job. He asked, "If I hire you to work in my store, will you be honest and truthful?" The young man answered, "I will be honest and truthful whether you hire me or not." Over 1800 years ago, Marcus Aurelius said “If it is not right, do not do it. If it is not true, do not say it.” These are simple words from another time and place. Do the right thing and speak the truth.

Integrity is a difficult concept to define. I believe that people have an intuitive sense of what it means. I've found in my practice that when I talk to a client about their integrity being "on the line", they know what I mean. We're dealing with something "core", with some kind of centre to their personality, to their sense of themselves. Integrity is a value, like persistence, courage, and intelligence. It is your choice of values and resolution to live by those values that form your character and personality. And it is integrity that enhances all your other values. The quality of person you are is determined by how well you live up to the values that are most important to you. Integrity is the quality that locks in your values and causes you to live consistent with them.

A storeowner interviewed a young man for a job. He asked, "If I hire you to work in my store, will you be honest and truthful?" The young man answered, "I will be honest and truthful whether you hire me or not."

Integrity is the foundation of character. A person who has integrity also has an unblemished character in every area of his or her life. One of the most important activities you can engage in, is developing your character. And one of the best ways to develop your character is by consistently doing the same things that a thoroughly honest person would do in every area of his or her life.

To be totally honest with others, you first have to be totally honest with yourself. You have to be true to yourself. You have to be true to the very best that is in you. Only a person who is consistently living a life with the highest values and virtues is a person truly living a life of integrity. If you are always honest and true to yourself you cannot be false to anyone else.

The mark of people who have high integrity is, they always do the highest quality of work in everything they do. They are the people who are always totally honest with themselves in everything they do, and strive to excellent work on every occassion. People with high integrity realize that everything they do is a statement about who they are as a person.

Your integrity is manifested in your willingness to adhere to the values that are most important to you. It's easy to make promises but often very hard to keep them. But every time you keep a promise that you've made, it is an act of integrity, which in turn strengthens your character. As you act with integrity in everything you do, you will find that every part of your life will improve. You will begin to attract the best people and situations into your life. You will become an outstanding person as well as a success in everything you do.

Wanted - Honest Men

We live in a world that has become so obsessed with success and material wealth at the expense of all else. It’s very rare to see men and women of integrity who would hold on to their righteousness by all means. “The end justifies the means” is now the motto of several people, all in a bid to amass wealth. It is a tragedy!

Sometime last week, a colleague sent a story to me by mail. I had read this story a few times before now, but this time around, it made more sense to me. Can I share this story with you? It is an old Ghanaian fable.

“An aging king woke up one day to the realization that should he drop dead, there would be no male in the royal family to take his place. He was the last male in the royal family in a culture where only a male could succeed to the throne - and he was aging.

He decided that if he could not give birth to a male, he would adopt a son who then could take his place, but he insisted that such an adopted son must be extraordinary in every sense of the word. So he launched a competition in his kingdom, open to all boys, no matter what their background.

Ten boys made it to the every top. There was little to separate these boys in terms of intelligence and physical attributes and capabilities. The king said to them, "I have one
last test and whoever comes top will become my adopted son and heir to my throne."

Then he said, "This kingdom depends solely on agriculture. So the king must know how to cultivate plants. So here is a seed of corn for each of you. Take it home and plant and nurture it for three weeks. At the end of three weeks, we shall see who has done the best job of cultivating the seed. That person will be my heir-apparent. "

The boys took their seeds and hurried home. They each got a flower pot and planted the seed as soon as they got home. There was much excitement in the kingdom as the people waited with bated breath to see who was destined to be their next king.

In one home, the boy and his parents were almost heartbroken when after days of intense care, the seed failed to sprout. He did not know what had gone wrong with his. He had selected the soil carefully, he had applied the right quantity and type of fertilizer, he had been very dutiful in watering it at the right intervals, he had even prayed over it day and night and yet his seed had turned out to be unproductive.

Some of his friends advised him to go and buy a seed from the market and plant that. "After all," they said, "how can anyone tell one seed of corn from another?" But his parents who had always taught him the value of integrity reminded him that, if the king wanted them to plant any corn, he would have asked them to go for their own seed. "If you take anything different from what the king gave you, that would be dishonesty. Maybe we are not destined for the throne. If so, let it be but don't be found to have deceived the king," they told him.

The D-Day came, and the boys returned to the palace each of them proudly exhibiting a very fine corn seedling. It was obvious that the other nine boys had had great success with their seeds. The king began making his way down the line of eager boys and asked each of them "Is this came out of the seed I gave you?" And each boy responded, "Yes, your majesty." And the king would nod and move down the line. The king finally got to the last boy in the line-up. The boy was shaking with fear. He knew that the king was going to have him thrown into prison for wasting his seed.

"What did you do with the seed I gave you?" the king asked.

"I planted it and cared for it diligently, your majesty, but alas it failed to sprout." the boy said tearfully, as the crowd booed him.

But the king raised his hands and signaled for silence. Then he said, "My people behold your next king." The people were confused. "Why that one?" many asked. "How can he be the right choice?" The king took his place on his throne with the boy by his side and said, "I gave these boys boiled seeds. This test was not for cultivating corn. It was the test of character; a test of integrity. It was the ultimate test. If a king must have one quality, it must be that he should be above above dishonesty. Only this boy passed the test. A boiled seed cannot sprout." ”

The single most important quality you can ever develop that will enhance every part of your life is the value of integrity. Integrity is the core quality of a successful and happy life. Having integrity means being totally honest and truthful in every part of your life. By making the commitment to become a totally honest person, you will be doing more to ensure your success and happiness in life than anything else you can ever do.

Will you stand up to be counted with men of integrity?

I will share a bit more about Integrity in details in my next post. Till then, stay on top!