Do What You Say You Will Do!

Working for a multinational in the last couple of years have taught me a lot about making commitments. The rule about making commitments is so simple that it is unbelievable. “Do what you say you will do”! Which part of this simple sentence is difficult to understand? The truth however is that most times, most of us to not keep our commitments. Interestingly enough, people will remember when you break promises, but they don’t remember when you help them out,

People expect you to fulfill your promises. Going out of your way to keep a commitment isn’t going to be remembered. But people will remember when you screw-up. Even if the screw-up is accidental, that broken commitment is going to linger for a lot longer than a spectacular success.

...90% of the world's problems result from people failing to keep their commitments.

It’s easy to forget this imbalance when you make commitments. Since breaking commitments has a much larger weight than helping out, it’s important to do what you say you’ll do. Usually you can’t repair a screw-up with a single offer to help out. It is astonishing that 90% of the world's problems result from people failing to keep their commitments. Heads of state, CEO's, family members and friends, every missed goal or uncompleted task can be traced back to someone not keeping their end of the bargain.

We all make commitments every day. Some seem small and insignificant-agreed upon time to meet, a promise to run an errand or a promise to follow-up. Others are ostensibly bigger and more important-a formal contract or legal document, etc. It is important to consider all commitments equally important, because this is the way trust is built and maintained. A person's reputation is built upon their ability to make and keep commitments. Your life will work better when commitments are carefully made and diligently kept.

Following this basic advice, there are a few conclusions about being a more reliable person and making sure your relationship accounts don’t go into debt:

Make Promises Infrequently

Don’t be hasty with your commitments. If something is important to someone, make sure that there is an almost 100% certainty you will be able to follow through. It’s better to explain, in advance, reasons that would prevent you from committing, than to back out later.

Write Down Commitments

If you make a commitment to do something, you should be writing it down in front of that person. Not only does this help you remember, it signals your level of commitment to the other person. It is not good practice to make offhanded commitments that isn’t stored anywhere.

Don’t Say “Maybe”, When You Mean “No”

If you won’t be able to do something, say so. You may feel you’ve left yourself a clever escape route to avoid making a commitment. But what you’ve really done is made a smaller promise. Backing out of a maybe isn’t a complete screw-up, but it still hurts your relationship more than if you were assertive enough to say “no” in the first place.

If you won’t be able to do something, say so

Don’t Forget Your Ongoing Commitments

Whenever you agree to do anything, the commitment should be placed into your to-do list, calendar or whatever organizing system you have. Even if your commitment didn’t have a specific deadline, keeping track of where you’ve agreed to help is important.

What’s Unimportant to You May be Crucial to Another

It’s easy to evaluate the importance of everything in terms of our own goals. I might get a request from someone that is unimportant to me, but extremely important to that person. It’s easy to push aside items that aren’t priorities for you. But if those items also happen to be priorities for other people, you may break an incredibly important commitment without realizing it.

If People Aren’t Reliable, Call Them on It

I wouldn’t recommend getting into a fight. But if someone is building a deficit in your relationship bank account, let them know. Often busy people won’t even realize they are being completely unreliable. If you let them know that you’re disappointed that they haven’t followed through on their promises that give them the option of gracefully scaling back their commitments or being more responsible in the future. However, be sure to do to others what you want done to you

By paying careful attention to the commitments you make, tracking them and developing the habit of keeping all your commitments you will be known as a person of integrity. Your life and the world around you work in direct proportion to the quality of your commitments.

Only You Can Determine The Outcome

Last week, I travelled with a neighbour to attend the funeral; service for another neighbour’s dad. Before I left home, I was told that the trip will take 4 hours or thereabout. Despite my busy schedules, I decided to make it down and spend a few hours with them there before driving back. Unfortunately, the trip took 6.5 hours! We got there quite late and were able to spend only 20 minutes with this neighbour. I was really angry within me as I felt that I had wasted my whole day (a total of 13 hours drive) only to spend 20 minutes at the event. The whole trip was really awkward. However, as usual, I didn’t let it go away without learning.

Life is very predictable

While returning back, I couldn’t help but listen to the words of music that was playing from the car stereo. The words were alarming and very untrue. Unfortunately, many people in our nation, in our continent, and in our world believe it. The song writer was trying to convince his listener that no matter what they do in life and how much they work hard, everything is predestined! Some people are predestined to the poor and serve those who have been predestined to be rich. According to him, you are not really responsible for whatever the outcome you are getting in life. It all depends on “something more powerful that you”. Nothing can be more untrue.

One of the most pervasive myth is our world today is that we are entitled to a great life, that somehow, someone , somewhere is responsible for filling our lives with happiness, exciting career option, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. There is nothing father from the truth. Most of us have been conditioned to blame others for the parts of lives we don’t like – our parents, our bosses, our friends, our spouses, the economy, the weather, the media, co workers, our clients, how spouse lack of money, and even our astrological chart!

To achieve major success in life and produce the life of your dreams, then, you will have to take 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing else will do. You will have to give up all your excuses. You have to stop blaming outside circumstances. You have the power resident within you to create the future you desire. I learnt a simple but powerful truth last week while listening to a tape. It was stated in the form of a formula

E+R = O

Every outcome you experience in life (success or failure, joy or frustration, wealth or poverty, health or sickness, joy or frustration), is a result of how you have responded to an earlier event(s) in your life. If you do not like the outcome you are experiencing in your life, there you have two choices that you have.

One, you can blame the events for your lack of results (outcome). You can blame economy, your bosses’ attitude, the system or lack of it, the political system, the weather, your lack of money or education, racism, gender bias, or even your wife or your husband. All of these factors do exist but if they were the deciding factors, no one will ever succeed! These are not the things that stop us. We stop ourselves.

Two, you can instead simply change your responses (R ) to the events (E) until you get the outcome (O) that you want. You can change your thinking, communication, pictures you hold in your head, and your behaviour. Those are the things we have control on anyway. You have to regain control over these things to stay on course. Everything you experience in life, internally or externally, is a result of how you have responded to an event. It is no magic. I feel strongly that you shouldn’t really be surprised with the outcome you get in life. If you don’t like what you are getting in life, you have to change your responses. You have to change your negative thoughts, change your friends, change your habits, change what you read, and change how you talk. If you keep on doing what you have always done, you will keep on getting what you’ve always got. The greatest definition of insanity is “doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different result”. It a’int going to happen. The day you start to change your responses to the way things are, is the day your life will begin to get better. If you get something different, you have to do something different.

The greatest definition of insanity is “doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different result”.

One of the greatest bane of our world today, especially among African, is the readiness to always blame others! Isn’t it interesting that you will see a 35 year old African blaming his uncle for his inability to get married and settle down? Isn’t it interesting that we always blame the government for our predicament? Isn’t it interesting that we only complain about the things we can do something about? Have you ever seen anyone complain about gravity? That will really be absurd.

Look, let it be clear to you that you are responsible for your life and your current circumstances. You are responsible for where you are today and where you will be tomorrow. Life is very predictable. If I see your responses to the events of your life today, I can predict the outcomes that you should expect tomorrow

Enjoy!

The Law Of Continuous Improvement - Part II

Loosely translated, the Japanese word kaizen means 'continuous change for the better'. More and more businesses now follow this principle to ensure they stay competitive, but this approach is equally valid for individuals. If you allow your skills to stand still and become out of date, it is all too easy to fall behind others and lose your competitive edge.

When we stop learning, we stop improving, and that can only lead to career stagnation.That is why it is important to maximise every opportunity for learning that comes along. None of us can rely on what we did and how we performed yesterday to sustain us. Developing a personal improvement process is a key part of ensuring we can meet the demands of our changing business and personal worlds.

I like the way Kim Collin puts is. He said “Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection”. Isn’t that wonderful? If everyone of us can commit to a life of continuous improvement, I bet the world will be a better place to live in. We need to actively search for a better way of doing things.

Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection - Kim Collin

Let me share with you some steps to continuous improvement.

1. Discard conventional fixed ideas.

The very idea of kaizen is unconventional. And the truth is, most people do not practice continuous improvement in any area of their lives, let alone all areas. About ninety-five percent of the people in this world have absolutely no interest in taking action to improve their lives. Conventional, fixed ideas would suggest that it is not necessary to continue learning throughout our lives. In the New Economy, however, the stakes are higher than ever. Those who continue to think that their formal education will take care of them for the rest of their lives are in for a rude awakening.

2. Think of how to do it, not why it cannot be done.

The pessimist will create all kinds of reasons that something can't be done. The optimistic, forward thinker, on the other hand, knows that "if the why is strong enough, the how will come." Focus on the outcome. Then, come up with all the ways that the outcome could possibly be accomplished. “…Determine that the things can and shall be done. And then we shall find the Way..” said Abraham Lincoln.

Determine that the things can and shall be done. And then we shall find the Way - Abraham Lincoln.

3. Do not make excuses.

Start by questioning current practices. Making excuses for not doing something is easy. Again, focus on the outcome. Then, take action. There is no excuse for not trying something. There is absolutely no harm in trying. I remember back in my secondary school days. I had a friend who was the best in Mathematics. There was something I noticed about him – he wasn’t afraid to try difficult problems. While people like me will drop a question just because it “looks” difficult, this guy never bulged. He’ll try every problem. The truth is, he didn’t get all of them, but he was way ahead of all of us who didn’t try at all!

4. Do not seek perfection.

Do it right away even if for only 50% of the target. If we all waited for perfection, we'd still be reading by candlelight and riding horses to work. Once you get to a certain point (whether it's 50% or 80%, or another number that makes sense), then run with it. In other words, take action. Then, adjust as you go along.

5. Correct it right away, if you make a mistake.

Stuff happens. Accept it, and adjust accordingly. If you've absorbed and accepted #4, then you're almost anticipating the necessity of corrections. Acknowledge that the mistake happened, especially when it affects other people, and then correct it. When an airplane is in flight, it is rarely exactly "on target". Most often, it's a little off course on this direction, or slightly off in that direction. But the pilot (or auto-pilot) constantly adjusts, and the plane ends up at its destination. The same is true of personal development.

6. Do not just spend money for kaizen, use your wisdom.

It is not enough to simply buy a tape set to learn skills, or to merely attend a workshop or seminar. These are wonderful (and essential, in my opinion) first steps, but action is key. Learn, yes. But then take action based on what you have learned.

7. Wisdom is brought out when faced with hardship.

Challenges are usually undesirable, but they can be tremendous learning opportunities. Obstacles will present themselves, and you will be a better person for having done what it took to overcome them.

8. Ask "Why?" five times and seek root causes.

The question "why?" is extremely powerful. As stated in #2, if a person has a strong enough "why", he or she can accomplish anything. The question "why?" can serve to either strengthen our conviction about something, or help us to discover that it really wasn't as important as we thought it was. At a minimum, it helps us to get to the root of the issue. Each time you ask "why?", you reveal a new layer. You go deeper, and deeper. Then, after four or five answers, you'll get to the real one. Try it!

9. Seek the wisdom of ten people rather than the knowledge of one.

Much has been written about the power of group thinking. Whether it involves seeking one or two other people's opinions, holding a meeting with others, or more formal brainstorming or mastermind groups, there is power in numbers. If you want to find out how to be successful at something, ask someone who has already done it. Better yet, gather several people who have already done it. With libraries, the internet, and other resources available today, we have more opportunities than ever to gather the wisdom of others.

10. Kaizen ideas are infinite.

Kaizen is a process of learning and growing, steadily and continually. There are always ways to "tweak" elements of your life in order to improve them. It has been said that life is a journey, not a destination. And practicing the philosophy of continuous improvement, of kaizen, will help you to make the most of that journey!

See you on top!

Take A Break!

Life is hectic and harried, but there are several ways you can jump off the hamster wheel of life to get some much needed respite. You only need to mentally commit to it and you can make it happen. It’s very difficult, especially in this part of the world (Africa) to get a break. It’s like every second is fully packed with activities- and so is every minute, hour, day, month and year. At the end of the day, you are completely burnt out! Do you wish you could slow things down especially in your mind? I wish. I did some studies and came up with a few ideas. May I share it with you?

Restroom Break

I am sure this sounds funny. You may laugh at this idea, but it isn’t called the rest room for nothing. For many of us, our day is a never ending stream of requests for our attention from others. When you find yourself hitting the wall, go take a bathroom break whether you need to go or not. Go into the stall and have a seat, close your eyes, take a deep breath (if it’s safe), and relax. Try putting your hands over your eyes and rubbing your temples. You’ll feel better even though this is a short break. Use the time to think about what you really need to do next instead of just reacting to every request.

Fix an appointment with yourself on a regular basis

I strongly recommend this especially for people who have to attend to several other people in the cause of the day. Fix a 30-60 minutes appointment with yourself on a regular basis (I recommend at least once weekly). Take this time to think about your dreams and what you need to do to make it reality. You could make use of any quiet place – store, library e.t.c

Change your perspective

Sometimes we can’t get our minds off our work, even when we come home from work. So how do you slow down your mind? Many turn to TV to help turn off our minds. But how about doing something totally different? You could: go to an art opening, do some volunteer work, visit a lecture at the local library, go see a live play or live music, or anything else that will help you forget about work for a while, but at the same time open your mind to other ideas instead of turning your brain off the way TV can.

Try a change of location

Another idea for freeing your mind is to go to a place you don’t usually visit. Or go to a place that you do go to frequently, but this time really takes notice of what’s going on around you. For example, a great place to go is simply out in nature - the woods, the beach, the mountains, and the park. As a child how did you feel when you were in these places? Can you notice those things again today as an adult? Go ahead and take some time to enjoy fond memories. Let them take you away from it all. Do the smells, sounds, and scenery of a place talk to you? What do they say? What do they motivate you to do differently going forward?

Take time to play!

Take some time to play some games, sing, or dance with your children or with friends or family. Make it a point to become really engaged. Tell yourself that all your worries and thoughts will still be there when you’re done playing. Commit to letting it all go while you do so. If it’s hard for you to do this, then schedule it with someone with whom you won’t be able to break the date. Have fun for a change. A good warm up is to play some music before to get your fun self moving and grooving and leave your work-a-holic self in the dust!

Get good sleep

At night, there are a couple things you can do to get off the treadmill of life. First be kind to yourself by going to sleep when you’re tired! Find a way to turn off the TV an hour or more before your target bed time. TV is a stimulant, even if you think it helps you fall asleep. Better yet, leave the TV off except for your favorite shows or educational TV. Don’t be afraid to be alone with yourself or alone with your spouse. When the TV is turned off you can begin to think, to unwind the day.

Say a “little” prayer

You will be amazed at what this can do for you. Commit your moments into God’s hand. When you are hard pressed on every side, take a time out to pray. It may not necessarily be long. You may not have time to pray for 10 minutes in your office but I am sure you can afford to do a minute prayer 10 times during the day. Committing your worries to God helps you unwind. It makes you more confident of your future

You deserve a break. So, take it

5 Philosophies of Life

Today, I woke up quite earlier (long before my alarm went off). I woke up with some thoughts. How can we enjoy life and get the best out of it? My mind went back to a few years ago, when as a trainee engineer in one of the top oil servicing firms in Nigeria I was asking the same question. I jotted down some thoughts/reasonings then and I was quick to review my notes. Permit me to share with you my thoughts then, and now. I have titled it “The 5 Philosophies of Life”

Life is Short – Invest It

When you learn to take life by each passing day, each passing hour, each passing minute and seconds, you will realize indeed that life is short. Yes it is. We are not eternal. Only God is. No matter our vision and plan, we have a time frame to make it happen. Even in societies with advanced health and medical care, life still has a limit. No wonder a wise man once cried out “So teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of understanding”.

Since life is so short, there is only one thing meaningful to do with it – invest it. It’s possible to waste it. Many people do. They will just wake up one day and discover that they are already 70 years old and close to their grave without anything to show for it. They’ve squandered their lives with drug addiction, smoking, too much TV, too much sleep and what have you. Some other people just spend life. They just go through life as it comes. Those are the type of people that ask the day where it has gone. To get the best of life, do not waste time. Do not spend it. Invest it. Invest it in things that will outlast you.

Life Is Small – Be Kind

It’s a small world. I have established several times on this blog that you are 5-7 people away from everyone on the planet. It is amazing and almost unbelievable how close you are to everyone on the face of the earth. Pay close attention to the people you are meeting today, doing business with today, living with today, lording over today. You will most likely still meet again. Please, be kind to them. You never can tell where else you’ll meet. It may even not be with them. It may be with their families and friends and you’ll be amazed how much small favours you’ve done for them can open giant doors for you. It’s a small world and I recommend that you should be kind…to all.

Life Is Complex – Be Wise

We live in a time where someone has described as the era of 3 C’s – Accelerated Change, Overwhelming Complexities and Intense Competition. Life can indeed be complex. You need wisdom to deal with the complexities of life.

When you want to be successful in every area of your life (and I assume you want to), you’ve got to be wise. It’s not the default. The default is that you succeed in an aspect of life and fail in the other aspects. How many successful business men have a successful home? Quite a few. Most traded their families for their business success. I know a lot of people who are successful in business but failing in their health. Really, it’s complex to handle all these areas – career, relationships, spirituality and health. You need wisdom

Do you know how to get this wisdom? I know how. It will take another write up to tell you how but let me give you a tip. Wisdom is not a “thing”, it is a person! Yes. I will prove it sometime soon. Stay connected.

Life Is In Phases – Be Sensitive

This is one part that people do not really comprehend. They are more comfortable with the status quo and just want to remain in their comfort zone. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. Life is in Phases. There is a time for everything.

Look at it closely. Your childhood was a phase of life. You were largely dependent, weren’t you? You enjoyed things being done for you and all. Then comes the teenage phase where you crave for independence. It’s another phase of life completely, with new skills and challenges. Growing up to settle down with your own family is yet another phase with its own challenges. Moving from phase to phase successfully requires sensitivity. You need to be sensitive to the changes going on in you and around you and make the necessary adjustments.

If you are using yesterday’s ideas to do business today, you will surely not be in business tomorrow. Be sensitive to things going on around you. Life is in phases and men are in sizes. Know the particular phase you are in and be sensitive to know when to make a move.

Life Is Interesting – Enjoy It!

I had a challenging time growing up. Because of my poor background, I leanrt to save a lot and delay gratifications. I grew up with this mentality and even when I started doing pretty well, I still saved quite a lot. I wasn’t even buying things for myself. I was just preparing for the future. One day, as I was reading a book, a powerful truth dawned on me when I read a quote “many people prepare so hard for tomorrow’s rain that they forget to enjoy today’s sunshine”. That described me in its totality.

Listen to me folks. Life is interesting. Don’t be too hard or tough on yourself. Enjoy every moment. Celebrate little successes. Take yourself out to lunch. Take that vacation out of the country that you’ve dreamt of. Reward yourself. Pay yourself. Celebrate yourself. I remember once after having a great speaking engagement, I did a celebration for my mouth! Yes, I did. I told myself “you’ve got to celebrate this mouth. It has brought you this far and it will take you to where you are going!” Enjoy life!

When people ask me how I am doing, one way I answer is to say “I am enjoying where I am preparatory to where I am going”. Will you join me in saying and meaning this confession?

We are destined for the top. No one can stop us except us. We are unstoppable!

The Greatest Of All Investments - Part I

In the last few years, I have taken conscious steps to know more about investments and investment opportunities all around me. I have also gone ahead since then to make some investments. So many people I know have also done same. In the middle of it all, I discovered the greatest investment you can ever make in this life – it is an investment in yourself; an investment in a company called “You Inc”. While it is great to invest in shares, real estate and what have you, nothing comes near to investing in yourself. You reap the fruit now and in the future.

Not investing in yourself is like floating down a fast river without a paddle, map or knowledge of what's around the next bend. Things may go fine for a while, but at some point, you're going to realize you made a giant mistake. To avoid such unforeseen disaster, you need to make a proactive and thoughtful investment in a plan for achieving your career -- and life -- goals.

Permit me to share with you my thoughts on why and how you can invest better in yourself…and in your career.

1. It's the Greatest Return on Investment, Anywhere

I have seen investments giving returns of over 500% percent and this is exciting. The return on investing and improving yourself is astronomically higher than any financial investment you could make. Believe me. From increased lifetime earning power and unimagined opportunities, to protecting yourself from unemployment and the satisfaction that comes from personal growth and success, the returns are enormous. You can’t beat the offer. Can you?

2. You're the Boss of You

If you're the president and CEO of You Inc., then it's your job to ensure you don't go out of business. It's your job to nurture growth and prosperity. You do this by planning carefully, performing consistently, operating true to your mission and investing in You Inc. If you use yesterday’s ideas to do business today, be sure that you won’t be in business tomorrow! For this reason, you need to constantly invest in yourself in order to stay current.

3. You Become More Valuable

Draw up two balance sheets for yourself. On the first, list your financial assets and liabilities. On the second, list your skills, ideas, knowledge, marketability, personal networks, passion and ability to make things happen. It will be great and helpful to do this exercise. Then, increase your personal net worth by investing in your second list -- that's how you'll increase the assets on your first list. That’s the way it works. That’s how to climb to the top. Your financial assets will most likely sky-rocket as you pay attention to increasing your skills, knowledge and marketability.

4. You Can Become Great

There is greatness within you and around you. Investing in yourself will bring it into the open. You are capable of greatness. Most of us settle for just getting by, using a fraction of our capabilities. This is tragic. Realize your greatness by identifying your talents and investing in your potential.

I'll continue from this point the next time. Till then, stay right on top!