The Danger of Sitting on the Fence

Last Friday, as my custom is, I was training my team at work. I was training specifically on Non Value Added Work Elimination Tools. It was an eye opening session for several of them. It’s always interesting when old theories are challenged and you realize that most of the work that you are doing now are non value added- they add no value to the product or service in the eye of the consumer/consumer. I guess I will talk about this some time soon via this medium. The last quarter of the hour I spent training was used in filling out a survey form for the department. In this survey, people were supposed to answer certain questions truthfully and honestly, rating each one from a “5” (Strongly agree) to a “1” (Strongly disagree). From my experience, it is very common to see a lot of people scoring the questions “3” (Neither agree nor disagree). This amazes me and it shows clearly that the middle ground looks like a good place to hide! Can you reckon with that?

While trying to warn them of the dangers of choosing “3” for most of the questions, a story I read several years ago came to my mind. It was a perfect story to drive home the point, and I got a loud applause for it! May I share it with you, dear reader (I hope to get the same applause, lol).

There is a great danger staying in the middle of the road. Sitting on the fence is not a wise thing to do afterall.

Long time ago, a war broke out between 2 neighboring towns. The inhabitants of these towns look so much alike and they decided to devise a means to ensure that they do not kill their own kinsmen during the war. They decided to wear uniforms. Town A decided to go with a red coloured uniform while Town B chose a black uniform option. That way, they can attack each other and not people from their town. As this was going on, there was a man who thought himself wise and smart. He was afraid to join either of the armies for fear of being killed. He thought of a plan – an excellent plan to make sure that whichever way the war goes, he will be safe. He decided to sew a uniform with both colours! The front of the uniform was red while the back was black. He then went to the battlefield, and was bold enough to get right in the middle of action. Since the side of his uniform showing Red was pointing to Town A armies, and the side with Black was pointing to Town B armies, many thought him bold and daring. “What a bold fighter”, they praised! He was getting praises and commendation from both armies. In the midst of all the accolades, he got carried away and turned around, the red side of his uniform now facing the army with black uniform, and the black side of his uniform now facing the army wearing red. You can guess what happened next. He was shot on both sides! The smart guy wasn’t so wise afterwards!

What’s the morale of the story? I guess it’s quite obvious. There is a great danger staying in the middle of the road. Sitting on the fence is not a wise thing to do afterall. It may seem like a temporary solution but it always often backfires. There is no middle ground between telling the truth and telling a lie. You are either lying or telling the truth. Sitting on the fence between honesty and dishonesty poses a lot of danger to you as an individual. You will not achieve much staying in the middle of the road. Infact, I can predict that you will get the same treatment that this “wise” man got.

What happens to a car that drives in the middle of the road, especially when the road is dual carriage road? Your guess is as good as mine. May I say that the same thing happens to destinies that are always compromising? Listen, it is better to be on the wrong side of the road, than to be right at the middle! I saw a proof of this even in God’s holy book. Hear what He says

“ And to the angel of the church of the Laodeceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth……” Rev 3:14-16

Can you imagine? God almighty himself prefers that we are either “hot” or “cold”. As far as he is concerned, he doesn’t want anyone sitting on the fence. He is simply saying…” hey, let’s know where you stand”. That’s the starting point. If we know where you stand, then we will know if it’s the right or wrong place. If it’s the wrong place, then we will know what to do to get you to the right place. So, where do you stand? When it comes to morality, where do you stand? When it comes to being honest, where do you stand? When is comes to giving bribes, where do you stand? When it comes to money matters, where do you stand? When it comes to God, where do you stand? I sincerely hope you are not standing right in the middle of the road. If you are, you have two choices – Get out of the middle of the road, to any of the sides (I recommend the good side, of course), or get ready to perish!

You may just not be smart afterwards!

The (Real) Moment Of Truth

Right now, I am watching a program on mnet series, my wife seated by me and my wonderful kids playing around me. The program is “The Moment of Truth”. I have seen this program a couple of times now. I don’t know if I like the program or not. I think I have reservations about it. It’s a good show but really, I find some of the things that happen on this program amazing. As always, I chose to learn a lesson.

The Moment of Truth is an American game/reality show. Contestants answer a series of 21 increasingly personal and embarrassing questions to receive cash prizes. The show is hosted by Mark Walberg. Prior to the program, the contestant is connected to a polygraph before being asked these personal questions. They are supposed to answer “True” or “False” to the questions and the polygraph reveals if their answers are indeed True or False. They get monetary rewards for the number of questions they answer truthfully. You will often hear the host say something like “This is your $25,000 moment of truth”. I am not sure you will appreciate this until you watch it. The questions sometimes gets really personal, foe example, “Have you ever fantasized about having sex with one of your co-workers”, “Will you rob a bank if you knew you wouldn’t be caught”, “Did you invite anyone to your wedding that you previously had sexual relations with”, “Do you have any secret that you know will end your marriage?”, “Will you have sex with another woman if you know you will never be caught?”, “ Have you ever being paid for sex?”, “ Do you believe you will be married to your husband for the rest of your life?” and other similar questions. I have watched how disappointed many husbands, wives, mothers, fathers and family members are after they hear some of the answers. Many of them that started the show clapping, shouting and with smiles leave the stage in tears. They leave surprised about secrets they never knew existed. It could be devastating! I saw a particular edition that was so bad that I will be very surprised if the marriage survived that night? Though you are only on the hot seat for a few minutes, what stares you in the face is integrity or lack of it, honesty or lack of it, faithfulness to your wife and family or lack of it that you have built over your life time. In less than 60 minutes, your values will be brought to test.

Can you imagine being on such a seat that you have to answer “True” or “False” to any question that you will be asked? Can you imagine your deepest secrets being revealed on live television? How will you feel if you have no choice but to seat on this program and answer the questions truthfully (it will be revealed to all if you lie). My guess is that you will dread the occasion.

The truth however is that none of us can run away from such moment! There is a Moment of Truth coming that you do not have a choice about. You do not need to like it. It is coming. It will soon hit you. Every secret will be revealed, not just on line television but for all to see. Everything done in secret will be revealed. Every secret email will be exposed. Every secret phone conversation will be heard live and clear. Everyone, yes everyone, will stand before the judgment seat of God. “Sooner or later we'll all have to face God, regardless of our conditions. We will appear before Christ and take what's coming to us as a result of our actions, either good or bad” says God’s holy word. Are you ready for this day?

Think about this for a moment- What if all emails that you have ever sent could be retrieved and displayed on a screen? What if all your phone conversations could be replayed back? What if all the times you spent in secret could be replayed? What if your innermost thoughts could be revealed on a screen? The truth is this…..they can! Yes, they can. One day, it will all be revealed. What manner of people ought we to be knowing this truth? There is nothing that you are doing now that will remain hidden. Absolutely nothing. One day, we will all sit before the Throne of God, and we wouldn’t have to say a word. The books will be opened and the scenes brought to light. We should all live our lives, like one day, we’ll give account, because we will!

One day, not too far from now, God will be our host on the real “Moment of Truth” where all you have ever done in secret, both good and bad, will be exposed. Are you ready for this moment? I perceive God will ask “This is you eternal life moment of truth”. What a day that will be.

Only You Can Determine The Outcome

Last week, I travelled with a neighbour to attend the funeral; service for another neighbour’s dad. Before I left home, I was told that the trip will take 4 hours or thereabout. Despite my busy schedules, I decided to make it down and spend a few hours with them there before driving back. Unfortunately, the trip took 6.5 hours! We got there quite late and were able to spend only 20 minutes with this neighbour. I was really angry within me as I felt that I had wasted my whole day (a total of 13 hours drive) only to spend 20 minutes at the event. The whole trip was really awkward. However, as usual, I didn’t let it go away without learning.

Life is very predictable

While returning back, I couldn’t help but listen to the words of music that was playing from the car stereo. The words were alarming and very untrue. Unfortunately, many people in our nation, in our continent, and in our world believe it. The song writer was trying to convince his listener that no matter what they do in life and how much they work hard, everything is predestined! Some people are predestined to the poor and serve those who have been predestined to be rich. According to him, you are not really responsible for whatever the outcome you are getting in life. It all depends on “something more powerful that you”. Nothing can be more untrue.

One of the most pervasive myth is our world today is that we are entitled to a great life, that somehow, someone , somewhere is responsible for filling our lives with happiness, exciting career option, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. There is nothing father from the truth. Most of us have been conditioned to blame others for the parts of lives we don’t like – our parents, our bosses, our friends, our spouses, the economy, the weather, the media, co workers, our clients, how spouse lack of money, and even our astrological chart!

To achieve major success in life and produce the life of your dreams, then, you will have to take 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing else will do. You will have to give up all your excuses. You have to stop blaming outside circumstances. You have the power resident within you to create the future you desire. I learnt a simple but powerful truth last week while listening to a tape. It was stated in the form of a formula

E+R = O

Every outcome you experience in life (success or failure, joy or frustration, wealth or poverty, health or sickness, joy or frustration), is a result of how you have responded to an earlier event(s) in your life. If you do not like the outcome you are experiencing in your life, there you have two choices that you have.

One, you can blame the events for your lack of results (outcome). You can blame economy, your bosses’ attitude, the system or lack of it, the political system, the weather, your lack of money or education, racism, gender bias, or even your wife or your husband. All of these factors do exist but if they were the deciding factors, no one will ever succeed! These are not the things that stop us. We stop ourselves.

Two, you can instead simply change your responses (R ) to the events (E) until you get the outcome (O) that you want. You can change your thinking, communication, pictures you hold in your head, and your behaviour. Those are the things we have control on anyway. You have to regain control over these things to stay on course. Everything you experience in life, internally or externally, is a result of how you have responded to an event. It is no magic. I feel strongly that you shouldn’t really be surprised with the outcome you get in life. If you don’t like what you are getting in life, you have to change your responses. You have to change your negative thoughts, change your friends, change your habits, change what you read, and change how you talk. If you keep on doing what you have always done, you will keep on getting what you’ve always got. The greatest definition of insanity is “doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different result”. It a’int going to happen. The day you start to change your responses to the way things are, is the day your life will begin to get better. If you get something different, you have to do something different.

The greatest definition of insanity is “doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different result”.

One of the greatest bane of our world today, especially among African, is the readiness to always blame others! Isn’t it interesting that you will see a 35 year old African blaming his uncle for his inability to get married and settle down? Isn’t it interesting that we always blame the government for our predicament? Isn’t it interesting that we only complain about the things we can do something about? Have you ever seen anyone complain about gravity? That will really be absurd.

Look, let it be clear to you that you are responsible for your life and your current circumstances. You are responsible for where you are today and where you will be tomorrow. Life is very predictable. If I see your responses to the events of your life today, I can predict the outcomes that you should expect tomorrow

Enjoy!

Quo Vadis?

It’s another Independence Day celebration in Nigeria. 48 years ago, we supposedly gained independence from the colonial masters. As I write on my desk this morning, so many thoughts are going through my mind. Should we roll out the drums today, to celebrate the achievements of our great nation? Not many people would think so. Should we spend today in sober reflection? Should we looks back at these years and shed tears? Should we compare ourselves with Nations like Malaysia and Singapore, who got independence after us, and yet, we cannot stand beside them in comparison? Quo Vadis? (Quo Vadis is Latin Phrase meaning “Where are you going?”)

As optimistic as I think I am, sometimes, I smell doom for the country. Yesterday, I was supposed to see our family Doctor, with my whole family. We had a choice of visiting one of 2 hospitals to see him. One was closer to the house and we decided to see him there. The plan was to drive to the hospital (this should take not more than 30mins), see him, and head back home in good time. To my amazement, we drove for 90mins! Not because there was any traffic on the way. The roads were terrible! There is no how a car can survive for 6 months driving on that road on a daily basis, yet, people live in this area and drive to the Island everyday. Look around and you will see big sign boards of politicians who wants people’s votes or who are singing their own praise of things they have done. You just wonder! Quo Vadis?

I can spend the whole day talking about several ills in this nation. However, that is not my intent. That will not help anyone as most of them are already known by everyone reading this blog. And again, this will not befit our dear nation on its Independence. This morning, I read the national anthem once again, and several things stuck me there. How I wish that we would all be made to memorize and read the national anthem everyday – in schools, in offices, in government houses, and all. How I wish we understand deeply the wordings on the anthem. Most importantly, how I wish we would all commit ourselves to it. I can bet all I have that the country will compete with the world powers if we do.

Arise, O compatriots, Nigeria's call obey
To serve our fatherland
With love and strength and faith
The labor of our heroes past
Shall never be in vain
To serve with heart and might
One nation bound in freedom, peace and unity.

Oh God of creation, direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right
Help our youth the truth to know
In love and honesty to grow
And living just and true
Great lofty heights attain
To build a nation where peace and justice shall reign.

Can we do a some analysis for the 2nd Stanza?

Oh God of creation, direct our noble cause

A nation that God rules cannot be a 3rd world! When God who created the whole earth directs a nation, that nation has not choice but to prosper. Whenever God guides, he provides! The God of the vision is also the God of the provision. There are many noble causes in our nation today. Believe me. Some people in government means well. Some really wants to fight corruption. Someone in government really wants to solve the power problem. However, the problem seems to overwhelm them. I remember the promise made by the late Bola Ige, when he was the Minister of Power. He had a noble cause to solve the power problem in less than 1 year. The rest is history. God needs to direct our noble causes.

Aso rocks needs to realize that all noble causes needs to be directed by God. The National Assembly needs to realize this. The State Houses of Assembly needs to realize this. Only then can our nation truly be great.

Guide our leader’s right

I am not sure we need any greater prayer than this one. One of the banes of our nation today (and also the whole of Africa) is quality leadership! Everything rises and falls on leadership. If you want to feel the temperature of a nation, put the thermometer in the mouth of the leadership. Our leaders need to be guided right, first by God. Our politicians are trying to redefine leadership. A leader is someone who has the best cars and lives in the choicest part of town! Nay! A leader ensures that his people has the best cars and lives in the choicest part of town! Our leaders need guidance.

Help our youth the truth to know

I remember something that happened back in my University days. I wept for this country. We were supposed to vote for a student union president in school. Because of incessant closure due to student unrest, we decided to sponsor a cool headed candidate that we felt would liaise well with the school authority and all. The guy won and overwhelming majority. However, during the vote counting exercise, I saw things I never knew existed before. I saw how students of a university will rig elections to vote for a student union president. It was amazing! I then thought to myself – Nigeria is really in trouble. These guys will be the so called politicians in 10 years time. They will be contesting for their state house of representatives and all. If they will rig elections to become a student union president, I leave you to determine what they will do to become an honorable. The youth, who should be the hope of our nation, needs to know the truth! The freedom we seek is in knowing this truth.

In love and honesty to grow. And living just and true

Honesty is an uncommon word in our nation. There are few honest men here. Sometimes, you feel odd being honest! It’s like; you are the strange person here. You don’t belong here! To grow past where we are now, we need honest men. Honest men in government. Honest men on the wheels. Honest men in the civil service. Honest men at the malls. Honest men on the pulpits. Honest men in military. Honest men everywhere. The reward of honesty is phenomenal! Check out the list of great nations of the world – honesty is right at the centre. Our States we start to develop well when our governors are honest; when they learn to deliver of their electioneering promises. Our roads will be a better place when contractors are honest. Our judiciary system will be better for it when we have judges that will say the truth no matter what. We really need honest men.

Great lofty heights attain

There is no way that we will obey the words of the anthem above and we would not attain great heights. There is no way. There is no way our nation will remain the same if we have the right leadership that operates with honesty. One thing I like about life is this – Life is predictable. If you follow certain principles, the results are pretty predictable. When a nation follows the above rules, it will achieve greatness!

I hope things would have been changing by the time Nigeria is celebrating its 50th Independence anniversary. I hope we will see a glimmer hope. I hope we will start to have leadership that is committed to the people. I hope we will have honest men. I hope we will have a clearer vision of where we are heading to…..and stop asking Quo Vadis?

From the Archives

This past weekend has been an eventful weekend for me. On Sunday, I drove 3 hours to Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife, my alma matter, to speak to over 1000 students, some of which were graduating from school and wanted me to share some of my experiences with them. I had a great time addressing them. I challenged them to aspire for the top of the topmost top, inspite all odds. I was also challenged by some of the things I saw.

On my way to Ife, I did something that I am trying to do more often. I went through one of my diaries – the one I used in 2005. It was an awesome experience. I couldn’t imagine how deep some of the thoughts I had then were. Without mincing words, I would be a much better person if I use 50% of the principles/ thoughts I have in that diary! I will be least 2-3 times better! Can I share some of these with you?

Success is sold in the open market. Let him go and buy who is willing to pay the price for it!

When you are interested in something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results

A resource is only as strong as his source. A whole lot depends on what/who you are committed to.

Faith is trusting in advance what will make sense only in the reverse

It takes less time to do a thing right, than to explain why you did it wrong.

When a man is wrapped in himself, he becomes a pretty small package.

The death of a seed is the burial of a forest

Greed is not measured by what something costs; it is measured by what it costs you

The quickest way to crush your laurels is to rest on them.

Team work is not about ego. It is about “we go”

The very worst use of your time is to do well what need not be done at all.

Success is more of a consistent common sense than it is of genius

Champions will continue to be champions when they don’t forget the basics

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gets you moving, but to nowhere

I hope you were as blessed as I am going through the list. In the next couple of weeks, I will write more on some of the insights shared here. Till then, keep on keeping on

Be Committed to Your Commitments

Working for a multinational in the last couple of years have taught me a lot about making commitments. The rule about making commitments is so simple that it is unbelievable. “Do what you say you will do”! Which part of this simple sentence is difficult to understand? The truth however is that most times, most of us to not keep our commitments. Interestingly enough, people will remember when you break promises, but they don’t remember when you help them out,

“Do what you say you will do”!

People expect you to fulfill your promises. Going out of your way to keep a commitment isn’t going to be remembered. But people will remember when you screw-up. Even if the screw-up is accidental, that broken commitment is going to linger for a lot longer than a spectacular success.It’s easy to forget this imbalance when you make commitments. Since breaking commitments has a much larger weight than helping out, it’s important to do what you say you’ll do. Usually you can’t repair a screw-up with a single offer to help out.

Let me share with you a few ideas that could help in making you a more reliable person and making sure your relationship accounts don’t go into debt:

Make Promises Infrequently

Don’t be hasty with your commitments. If something is important to someone, make sure that there is an almost 100% certainty you will be able to follow through. It’s better to explain, in advance, reasons that would prevent you from committing, than to back out later. I am not trying to suggest that you should run away from commitments. All I am saying is that you should keep your commitments to the level which you can deliver on!

Write Down Commitments

If you make a commitment to do something, you should be writing it down in front of that person. Not only does this help you remember, it signals your level of commitment to the other person. It is not good practice to make offhanded commitments that isn’t stored anywhere.

Don’t Say “Maybe”, When You Mean “No”

If you won’t be able to do something, say so. It is better to say No, than to say Yes and still not do it. You may feel you’ve left yourself a clever escape route to avoid making a commitment. But what you’ve really done is made a smaller promise. Backing out of a maybe isn’t a complete screw-up, but it still hurts your relationship more than if you were assertive enough to say “no” in the first place.

Don’t Forget Your Ongoing Commitments

Whenever you agree to do anything, the commitment should be placed into your to-do list, calendar or whatever organizing system you have. Even if your commitment didn’t have a specific deadline, keeping track of where you’ve agreed to help is important. Keep other commitments you have in perspective before making any new one. Don’t forget ongoing commitments because you want to make someone happy.

What’s Unimportant to You May be Crucial to Another

It’s easy to evaluate the importance of everything in terms of our own goals. I might get a request from someone that is unimportant to me, but extremely important to that person. It’s easy to push aside items that aren’t priorities for you. But if those items also happen to be priorities for other people, you may break an incredibly important commitment without realizing it. Once you have made a commitment to get it done, keep to your commitment. Forget how important or unimportant it seems t you.

If People Aren’t Reliable, Call Them on It

I wouldn’t recommend getting into a fight. But if someone is building a deficit in your relationship bank account, let them know. Often busy people won’t even realize they are being completely unreliable. If you let them know that you’re disappointed that they haven’t followed through on their promises that give them the option of gracefully scaling back their commitments or being more responsible in the future. However, be sure to do to others what you want done to you.

Responsibility - The Price For Greatness

One of the single most important words in the English language is R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y. Your ability to respond. Why? Most of the problems we experience in life are because we fail to take responsibility. Look at your own life. Be honest with yourself. What problems can you identify that point back to your not taking responsibility either in a timely fashion or not at all? I bet it's 90% or higher. We are a country of people who seem to believe problems are always someone else's responsibility.

So you have a problem. And you have a good excuse for living with it, right? You're unappreciated, misunderstood, your parents raised you wrong, the school didn't teach you the right thing, the system is against you, you're broke, unemployed, you can't do anything right, you made a lot of mistakes … There is nothing you can do about it because you are too young, too old, you are under-educated, overweight, you won't conform, you don't have any money.

" When we want to do something we find a way, but when we don't we find an excuse." Donald Trump

Do you realize these are all excuses? Donald Trump said " When we want to do something we find a way, but when we don't we find an excuse." Most people do not accept personal responsibility for what they want. They tend to blame others, circumstances, and conditions. Blaming makes us feel better, but it does not solve problems. What happens to us when we allow someone or something else to become responsible for us? We give up our personal power. The power to make decisions about our own lives, and to control our destiny. Are you willing to take that kind of chance with your life?

Most people dread accepting responsibility. That's just a fact of life, and we can see it in operation every day. Yes, we can see avoidance of responsibility all the time in both our personal and professional lives. And here's something else we can see just as often: we can see that most people aren't as successful as they wish they were. Do you see there is a connection between these two very common phenomena? Responsibility is a price you have to pay if you aim for greatness.

During the years when professional basketball was just beginning to become really popular, Bill Russell, who played center for the Boston Celtics, was one of the greatest players in the pro league. He was especially known for his rebounding and his defensive skills. But like a lot of very tall centers, Russell was never much of a free throw shooter. His free throw percentage was quite a bit below average in fact. But this low percentage didn't really give a clear picture of Russell's ability as an athlete. And in one game he gave a very convincing demonstration of this.

It was the final game of a championship series between Boston and the Los Angeles Lakers. With about twelve seconds left to play, the Lakers were behind by one point and Boston had the ball. It was obvious that the Lakers would have to foul one of Boston's players in order to get the ball back, and they chose to foul Bill Russell.This was a perfectly logical choice since statistically Russell was the worst free throw shooter on the court at that moment. If he missed the shot, the Lakers would probably get the ball back and they'd still have enough time to try to win the game. But if Russell made his first free throw, the Lakers' chances would be seriously diminished. And if he made both shots, the game would essentially be over.

Bill Russell had a very peculiar style of shooting free throws. Today, no self-respecting basketball player anywhere in America would attempt it. Aside from the question of whether it's an effective way to shoot a basket, it just looked too ridiculous. Whenever he had to shoot a free throw, the six-foot-eleven Russell would start off holding the ball in both hands about waist high, then he'd squat down and as he straightened up he'd let go of the ball. It looked like he was trying to throw a bucket of dirt over a wall.But regardless of how he looked, as soon as Bill Russell was fouled, he knew the Celtics were going to win the game. He was absolutely certain of it because, in a situation like this, statistics and percentages mean nothing. There was a much more important factor at work, something that no one has found a way to express in numbers and decimal points.

Simply put, Bill Russell was a player who wanted to take responsibility for the success or failure of his team. He wanted the weight on his shoulders in a situation like this. No possibility for excuses. No possibility of blaming anyone else if the game was lost. No second guessing. Bill Russell wanted the ball in his own hands and nobody else's. And, like magic, even if he'd missed every free throw he'd ever shot in his life before this, he knew he was going to make this one. And that is exactly what happened.

That is what virtually always happens when a man or woman accepts responsibility eagerly and with confidence. I've always felt that accepting responsibility is one of the highest forms of human maturity. A willingness to be accountable, to put yourself on the line, is really the defining characteristic of adulthood.

"A Person is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions." –

So if you are a person who has never been good at taking responsibility:

- Look around and find the most responsible person you know and ask for help or model their behavior.

- Take on small projects and see them through to completion. Then slowly increase the amount of responsibility you take on. The more we do, the more we can do, and the better we get.

- Accept 100% responsibility for what happens in your life, and know that you have the power to take control of many aspects of your life, mental and physical.

- Stop blaming and start making decisions and be responsible for the outcome good or bad.

You will succeed!